1. large and in charge.
But also:
2. Fanny
3. keister.
Item 2: In this play a Hispanic man is fucking Miley Cyrus and talking dirty to her:
HISPANIC MAN (while furiously fucking Miley Cyrus): It's a party in the YOU... ese...
Item 3: The technology of itunes playlists and netflix queues is incredible. If I had to choose between sex and itunes playlists... like, one would vanish from the Earth... I would choose my playlist of Smokey Robinson's hits anyday.
Item 4: TRUE: Of the many times I've been sent to the principal's office one sticks out; the principal Norma at my Sunday school would bury her head in her hands and practically crying say “Jacob, what are we gonna do with you ?” over and over. In my defense, though, Jews are sensitive so that was on them.
Item 5: When I was little I wanted to be a couples therapist. You haven't lived until you've heard my couples therapist exercise “handholding to the next level.”
Here I ask you to hold hands with your partner for an entire hour without a single break.
If one of you lets go, than that’s the person who’s the cause of all the trouble in the relationship, and if no one lets go, the person with the sweatier hand is the cause of all the trouble in the relationship.
I got the inspiration for this exercise from history--specifically the Salem Witch Trials.
Item 6: I think eating shit is underrated. No metaphor there. Literally eating human feces... it's an underrated thing, ya know? You know the old saying “if its yellow keep it mellow... if its brown... eat a pound... of it... of your own human shit... if its yellow keep it mellow, if its brown scoop it out of the toilet and eat a pound of your own human shit.” That's the saying, isn't it?
Have a great day!
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