Saturday, July 28, 2012

NEW SH*T


Jokes:


- Watching me do stand-up is a treat. It's a spectacle. It's not like ice skating or anything like that, though. It's more like “Come watch this nervous, lanky teenager squirm.”


- Must of the puns I've heard in my 19 years of life have been nothing but unpleasant. Like the other day I was driving past a Rite Aid pharmacy and they had a banner on it: “Grand Re-Opening: Come See What's In Store.” Like, they meant what's in the store but also what's in the future. I had to hold onto the seat of my pants after a pun like that. Exciting stuff.


- I have a ton in common with women in their 40s. My menstrual cycle isn't getting less regular but I have been having a bit of moodiness. And don't get started on difficulty sleeping! Don't even, Steven! Also, I like Coldplay.



A character (for intellectuals):



Nihilist Neil:



Hi! I'm Nihilist Neil. The only place love truly exists is as the title of that Beatles CD with Cirque Du Soliel! Ha! Ha! What you see is what you get.

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