-In all seriousness, I feel guilty a crazy amount of the time. The other day while I was grocery shopping with my Mom I debated with myself whether or not I should get a fancy kind of yogurt smoothie because it was very expensive. After a while of considering it and feeling bad and selfish about buying something that seemed extravagant, I finally decided to put it in my cart. But really, you know you feel guilty too much of the time when you actually feel bad about buying food.
-I have a great idea for an animated family movie called “Mr. And Mrs. Hamster Ask For Directions.” It starts off with Mr. Hamster reluctantly agreeing to Mrs. Hamster's demand to ask for directions. Mr. Hamster pulls over the Dodge Challenger they're driving in and then asks a fox along the road how to get to where they're going. The fox then responds by screaming, pulling out a cartoonishly large hammer, and bludgeoning Mr. Hamster until he's dead. The rest of the movie is about the struggle of Mrs. Hamster's acceptance of Mr. Hamster's fate and how she misses their morning coffee's together and how they used to play duets together on piano. I never said it was a cheerful movie, but I think it'll make kids have a tougher skin by the time they're done watching it and they can enjoy the bright, pastel colors throughout the movie. Not to mention the excellent voice acting (I'm hoping Tim Allen of Toy Story fame will voice Mr. Hamster and Meryl Streep will voice Mrs. Hamster.) I'm not saying I expect this movie to be picked up but if it will it'll be the first of it's kind, that's for sure.
Statistics Proving That New Jersey Is The Worst Place In The Country (Read all of it, just trust me on this)
-New Jersey has the highest population density in the U.S. An average 1,030 people per sq. mi., which is 13 times the national average.
-North Jersey is the car theft capital of the world, with more cars stolen in Newark then any other city. Even the 2 largest cities, NYC and LA put together.
-In New Jersey all diner employees are required by law to rub the meatloaf under all two of their armpits and then have to spit on it before serving it.
Okay maybe I made that last one up... but back to the real ones.
-About one-sixth of all drugs manufactured in the United States come from New Jersey.
-The New Jersey state slogan is “We think all black people look the same.”
-New Jersey is famous for the prestigious and prolific newspaper “The 'We're not saying the Jews are responsible for everything bad that happens, but we're not, not saying it either' Times.”
-Contrary to popular belief atomic weapons were first made in New Jersey, not France. The atomic bomb was first created by New Jersey native Ryan Ryans. He's frequently quoted for his pithy and quintessential New-Jersian remark “Eh, what the fuck? Eh? Eh?!”
-If it weren't for New Jersey, malaria would just not exist.
-New Jersey is the reason mohawks, mullets, and the common cold exist.
-Contrary to the “We do not smell like farts,” campaign New Jersey has enacted by posting billboard and airing public service announcements on television, New Jersey smells exactly like farts.
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