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-Lamb chops would be my favorite kind of chops if karate chops weren't my favorite kind of chops.

-My life is a series of up and downs. That's not a typo, I only feel like there has been one steep enough incline to consist of a true “up.” It was when I had my Bar Mitzvah, it wasn't that big of an up, and I only was happy then because of the money I got from it. C'mon. I'm 18, the interesting parts of my life have yet to happen... I hope.

-At the local ice cream shop “Ashley's Ice Cream,” they have crayons and paper out for customers to make “Ashley's Ice Cream,” posters. For example there is one poster with a picture of Albert Einstein saying “It doesn't take a genius to love Ashley's.” My friend Mike and I took a different approach. We drew a man in classic, black-and-white bank robbing garb with the text “I STEAL BABIES FOR ASHLEYS ICE CREAM,” and another with a man with a shocked expression reading “I JUST KILLED A MAN... FOR... FOR ASHLEY'S ICE CREAM...” The staff at Ashley's haven't hung up our posters yet but I'm good at being patient and I got time to wait.

- Once while unplugging my laptop charger from the surge protector I got electrocuted fairly badly. That morning, though, I felt a little more alert than usual. I was able to pay twice as much attention in math class. I've since wondered if some people electrocute themselves before going into work to help them get pumped up and ready to get things done. Since having that though, I've never looked at people with jobs the same. If they're willing to electrocute themselves who knows what else they're capable of?

-To tell you the truth I could be a little more loyal to my family. During one of my first times taking the city bus I wound up misunderstanding directions from the bus driver and ended up taking the city bus across the state of Connecticut. A normal person would think “Oh no, I have to get home. That's where all my things are and people who care about me, who are at home, might might get worried.” I wasn't sweating it. When I was on the wrong side of Connecticut one of my first thoughts was “There are probably people that can take care of me here too. It doesn't take much to take care of me, just some food and some water. I'm not a big complainer.” My loyalty is a work in progress.

-I wonder a lot about if there's an afterlife or not, and lately I've been wondering about Hell. I wonder if there are different layers of Hell. Like on the first layer of Hell clearly there should be just bank robbers and small-fry thieves and what not. But for people who are child molesters and sexual assailants there oughta be a whole other place. Like a place called “Hail,” which is a combination of “Hell,” and “Jail,”where there's fire everywhere, like regular old Hell, but there are also big iron bars everywhere too. Believe me when I say Hail is the worst possible place that I have ever made up and then regretted making up.