- I don't want to do puns but I've “Won
For Life,” with the genetic lottery. With my eyes? I got top score
on “Wild 7's.”
- If you're wondering if that last joke
really just happened I'm 'fraid so.
- Calcutta, New Delhi, and just India
in general did a social experiment where they offered Microsoft
computers to the children of the slums. Those kids worked it as good
or better than an American secretary instantly. That is all
absolutely true, I absolutely promise and you can look up the TED talk about it.
Hearing that made me much more racist
because it confirmed stereotypes but much less racist because that's
impressive.
- People ask me “Jacob, have you
always been this energetic?”Yeah, I've been energetic since the
womb. Yeah, I was one zealous zygote.
- Apparently, babies minds are like
lanterns and adults minds are like spotlights. Babies are also like
lanterns to me because I have no use for them.
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