NEW SH*T

- Europeans speak mega weirdly. You ever read the way Europeans say something that we say and then you're like “Why on Earth would you call that the room of many baths?”

There's a better way.

- “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” - Grease companies

- Man, it's a thing to marvel at how people truly respond to anger when it comes to public speaking.

Even bartenders have to learn to speak a certain way at bartending school so that they never sound passive.

I would be a little concerned, though, that one or two bartenders in this country might be over doing it. Like I would hate to have a bartender say “WHAT CAN I GET YA?!!!” while sounding like he just got his arm caught in an elevator while being broken up with by his girlfriend. I don't like angry and in-pain-sounding bartenders.

Side bar: While staying at this resort Water's Edge with my family I was walking past the arcade and my luxurious room...

and I saw a guy with just his arms caught in the resort's elevator and violently screaming.

In the end we were both just fine.

But seeing things like that kinda messes you up but I think it also makes your appreciate things and it builds character.

I now appreciate that all two of my arms are fully not red, near breaking, and caught in elevators.

- My favorite proverb is this African one that goes “Until the lions produce historians the stories of the hunt will glorify the hunters.” It makes “An apple a day...” look turdish.

- In retrospect-- and it's a thing that's absolutely true and I don't talk about much-- I sure had to see a lot social workers and principals growing up. Funniest things though:

I remember in fifth grade I would skip out on Sunday School classes and just walk around my synagogue and played that computer game “Worms,” on the computers they had in the library. Absolutely true.

I remember seeing all sorts of principals named Norma and Barry and all sorts of stuff, not for things like doing gang graffitti or stuff like that but more for things like drawing Pikachu in the bible. They weren't a fan of that.