This is going to be the beginning of a new stand-up comedy set... that I will perform once I have more stuff that is new and good. All of the following jokes are old... but good.
- I can't wait til I finish my
children's book about suicide: it'll be called “On The Ledge,
Larry.”
- What do you call a bunch of diseased
adhesives? Band-AIDS.
- If you ask me electric toothbrushes
and the electronic-like are a clear indicator that someday we'll drop
the kids off in electronic toilets.
- And wipe with electronic toilet paper.
With the app i AM ITCHY.
- We'll have a digital bidet with two
settings: be-day and be-night.
- I've been doing arts school for
forever. At my arts high school, a few years ago, we had an assembly;
we were all called in to see a dance recital... but the thing was
there was no music... the only sounds you heard were-- like-- the
sounds of dancers bodies hitting against the floor, and it was
strange and intense and it was really like the first time you cum
because your first thought is... “Oh my G-d, this can happen?”
And your second thought is “Hehehe... gross.”
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