Been slaving over some of this
one-liner or near one-liner stuff. Here.
Jokes:
- “I need a iPod... because... I
need a iPod.” -America
- Pizza is the only food that looks
exactly the same in cartoons as it does in real life. Just a
perfect triangle in both. I'd like to see pickles try that shit.
- I love commitment to comedy... that's
why I'm about to put a “may contain nuts,” sign on the ol'
ballsack.
A little comedy bit:
- I love the phrase “Listen,
sport....” It's mostly said by grandpas who're about to be sweet
and reassuring to their grandchild. I'd be mega surprised if
I heard a grandpa use it in a negative way. Like here's the correct
use of it: “Listen, sport... sometimes love hurts.” Kinda
just sounds right. As opposed to “Listen, sport... I used to
run a $50,000 a month drug ring.”
A last note:
- True story: my grandmother, while
waiting for a table in a Mexican restaurant, once met a lady who is a
pilot for the Make a Wish Foundation. Apparently that's a job.
That's noble and exciting. I'm thinking about cutting
the mustard and seeing how you get that gig. Seems like a real
ace-in-the-hole plan, if you ask me.
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