Sunday, January 20, 2013

NEW SH*T

Jokes:



- Nothing makes me go “Gulp!” like a Scooby Doo character than a frozen dinner that takes 8 minutes to cook. I never know if I can last that long. I don't wanna give Lean Cuisine a hard time but appetites know no mercy. That's how they work; they're like a mean drunk.



- “Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your flare!” - A man in need of an emergency flare from his neighbor Rapunzel



- I have a card on my desk that reads “Best Buy Card: Let the Benefits Commence!” That Best Buy cards gonna have a hard time in life with that level of naivety. That Best Buy cards gonna have the shit kicked out of him. That Best Buy card is gonna have a lot of mean, turning-you-down text messages in his inbox.



- I heard if you eat a German you gain immortality.. and I'm not saying I'm gonna try it... but what've I got to lose?

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